Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Super Bowl

Some drivers do this work as their full time job and make decent money logging 40+ hours a week cruising the cities every day. Personally, I’ve opted for weekends and events only as a supplement to my full time job instead of replacing it. I get more flexibility to decide if it’s worth it to stay sober or skip a party to drive versus taking the night off and hanging out with friends. I had decided early on that I would drive Sunday night for the Superbowl partly because I didn’t care much for getting wasted to watch it and because I thought I’d get a bunch of fun and rowdy cars of guys and bar-goers that would end their night either elated for their team victory or who might need a friendly driver to help assuage their defeated demeanor after a loss. Either way, I flipped my app on before the game to get people where they needed to go. 

My first call was Nathan at the mall. OK, I thought as I envisioned a buff crew cut dude with a goatee or something, he was probably just pre-gaming at the bars around there or maybe ending a day of obligatory shopping and now heading out with the guys for some football. Cool. I turned my radio to the local audio broadcast of the game to help them get psyched up for a night of Hawks v. Pats. When I pulled up, there are two sharply-dressed men (note: NOT in oversized team jersey or "division champ" t-shirts) with arms full of shopping bags who begin striding up to the rear passenger side. They get in, shuffling the 8-10 bags between them. 

“Hey guys!” I start energetically, “Are you headed home to watch the game tonight?” 

“Oh, GIRL!” begins a now very obviously effeminate Nathan, “if you mean the nationally broadcast Katy Perry concert, then hell yes! We have outfits to try on first. How long is a football game…or half…or whatever, what time is she on?” OK, not the macho hyped up dudes I was expecting, but still happy to make the drive with them to Minneapolis. 

As we get on the highway, I realize the Superbowl radio station is still on as they begin the pre-game festivities. The first event is John Legend singing “America the Beautiful”. I can perfectly envision him passionately playing the beautiful piano accompaniment with his smooth baritone voice. Nathan shushed his shopping companion, I turned it up, and we listened in total silence for the 1:35 rendition.

"Oh. My. God! Chills!" Nathan said what we were all thinking as it came to a close. "and his eyes...and his smile....can you IMAGINE him serenading you with that voice? Chrissy Teigen is like, the luckiest straight woman EVER!"

The love and admiration was not so abundant for the National Anthem singer, Idina Menzel which was surprising because she's a big broadway presence and this car seemed like the type of crowd to love her. But a couple flat notes and the demeanor turned pretty harsh. "She needs to take her own advice and let it fucking go," spoke up the feisty, but until now more reserved partner. He opted to speak directly to the radio like a tiny Elsa was there in the radio console, singing her pitchy heart out and extending notes for far longer than any football fan would be willing to tolerate. "Hey Idina - you need to stop trying to do everything ever! It's not gonna happen for you!" hahaha! laughter from Nathan as they agreed that she needs to go back to Wicked and get off the national stages. 

So with that catty exchange, we pulled up to their perfectly pristine Minneapolis apartment and I left them to not watch the game, but psych themselves up for what would prove to be a fierce Katy Perry concert instead.

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