Monday, March 23, 2015

Hot Cop

Tony was a surprise pickup as I was on my way to St. Paul for a surge indication. Surges mean that the ratio of requests to cars available it getting disproportionate and I can make more per ride if I pick up in the surge zone. My app was flipped on, but I wasn't expecting a ding until I got closed to downtown, but there was 5-star Tony, at an apartment just across the river, so I swung off the exit to get him.

I parked out front of his palatial building for a while, sent a quick text to see if he was still coming, and two minutes later, saw the doors open and a tall 30-something with dark features, khaki pants, and a great V taper build under a black shirt and leather jacket came striding toward the car. 

"Oh man, sorry to keep you, mind if I sit in front?" he started with a fantastic Tom Cruise smile. "This is what you get for being Italian and thinking it's a good idea to move your cousins into the building. I can't make it to the fuckin' laundry room without a family reunion now, ya know?"

Incredibly good-looking, family man, no wedding ring, and Italian? How unprofessional would it be to turn off the meter and just propose now?

"So, you're headed to a party bar, celebrating anything special or just for fun?" I asked teasingly as we got on our way.

"It's been a long week at work, so heading out with some of the guys to unwind."

"What kind of work do you do?"

"Oh, I'm a cop for the city," he replied modestly.

Incredibly good-looking, family man, no wedding ring, Italian, AND a cop?! Stop the car, I might pass out. But it gets better.

As we continue with the usual small talk and my music gets to the third song on the soundtrack of our car ride, Tony stops mid-sentence, "Holy shit - is this the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack? Best movie of the decade, am I right?" 

Despite driving around replaying the same 12 songs for all my riders, so few people catch that or care, so I respond too enthusiastically, "YES! I LOVED the movie, and KNEW I needed the soundtrack before it even hit Hooked On a Feeling."

"Yeah! That's when Starlord's getting the shit kicked out of him - I thought that, too!" Fleeting visions of which wedding venue could fit hundreds of his Italian wedding guests and have a dancefloor big enough for my German bumper polkaing family begin going through my head. But alas, I got to the bar and I had to let him go.

"This has been the BEST rideshare I've done," he looked over with his great smile and deep laugh lines that give away decades of happiness behind him, "I'm glad you picked me up, maybe I'll catch you again sometime," and he disappeared past the smokers huddled around a heat lamp and into the bar.

As I hung in the parking lot for a minute, waiting for my next call, I texted a friend with a quick recap of my last 20 minutes and finish with "Would it be super creepy to quit for the night and follow this guy into the bar? I already know the answer is yes...and only slightly less creepy than if I go wait at his apartment for him to get back lol! Fired from my job aaaaaand arrested for stalking by Hot Cop..." so I headed toward downtown to wait for my next call.

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